30 Things NOT To Do in Ravenclaw

30 Things NOT To Do in Ravenclaw
Alexia Riaper and Kyrie Adderholt

With the beginning of another term and lots of little eaglets flying into the Roost from all areas, we thought we should put together a few guidelines to help students out. We’re sure that by now you’ve read about all the wonderful things you can do in HOL and the Roost, but what about the things you’re not supposed to do? Well, we’re here to help. We have compiled a comprehensive, though not exhaustive, list of things NOT to do in Ravenclaw. Even if you don’t understand them all just yet, stick around for a while and you will!

1. Do NOT break the Roost.
2. If you do break the Roost, do NOT ask Mark Mandrake to fix it.
3. Do NOT call Maya Winters a cabbage.
4. Do NOT joke about RQT not being Quidditch Champions (again).
5. Do NOT refer to Cassandra Lobiesk as the Queen of Penguins.
6. Do NOT play the Godfather theme when Mark enters a room.
7. Do NOT allow Ulol Kimil to go on believing he is a Dalek.
8. Do NOT question Rhiannon Llewellyn about any involvement with the mafia and whether or not she is the Godfather.
9. Do NOT try to tell Ryan Lobiesk that Lady Gaga is perhaps not female.
10. Do NOT use the house cup as a muffin basket.
11. Do NOT pick the last name Cullen and not expect there to be repercussions.
12. Do NOT throw glitter on Finn Cullen and tell him he’s now a true Cullen.
13. Do NOT stand between Cassandra and cake. You will be injured.
14. Do NOT claim that botting is bad for the environment.
15. Do NOT tell Kyrie Adderholt or Tara Aurelium that Quidditch was permanently canceled.
16. Do NOT tell newbies that they will be eaten by a giant muffin if they don’t earn points.
17. Do NOT challenge Rosanna Gullveig to a game of hide and seek.
18. Do NOT even try to spell Silmarien Szilagyi’s last name without looking it up. You’ll get it wrong.
19. Do NOT sing “We Are the Champions” at RQT games. Other teams get annoyed.
20. Telling RQT that David Tennant is engaged is NOT a good April Fool’s joke.
21. Do NOT tell all newbies that all questions must be asked to the Head Prefect.
22. Do NOT steal Niniel Sander’s Miss Ravenclaw crown and claim it as Rowena’s lost diadem.
23. “42″ is NOT the answer to every question on the O.W.L.s.
24. Do NOT set Cassandra on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.
25. Do NOT tell Alexia Riaper or Kyrie Adderholt that Merlin and Arthur are more than just friends.
26. If the idea of an Alte Sententiam article makes me giggle for more than 30 seconds, I can assume I’m NOT allowed to do it.
27. Do NOT ask Gustavo Flores to imitate Steve Irwin in his magical pets class.
28. Do NOT joke with a fellow Eagle saying that books were banned in the common room.
29. Do NOT try to convince Jenna Hathaway that she hasn’t earned enough points this month.
30. Do NOT nominate Cassandra for every RPM award possible.

We hope this will help make your time in Ravenclaw even better than it already is!