Days of Our Lobiesk
For those of you who have not heard the fabulous news, I will be doing a new column for the Alte this year! However, it will not be like any other column. This will be crazier, fiercer, and have more swagger jagger than anything you could possibly imagine. I have been granted access to the world of Lobiesk. That’s right, I am writing a column about the one and only Cassandra Lobiesk. These are the days of our Lobiesk...
To start off my new column, I have decided to take a look back at the summer of 2011. Cassandra had many exciting moments during this summer and I was there, along with a handy quick quotes quill and the reserve prefects I coerced into helping stalk her day and night, to catch all of these moments and bring them forth for the rest of HOL.
The first major event of the summer for Cassandra came during her (almost hehe) triumphant return to quidditch. While she stated for ages that she was retired, our favorite Lobiesk stepped back onto the pitch this summer and managed to bring home several awards, which she could not be happier to have. I think I saw tears of joy in her eyes at the news of one of the awards she received. She wrapped up her summer quidditch time by making the All Star team. There is a rumor going around that she will be staying out of retirement for the regular quidditch season. I’m not quite sure where this rumor came from, but I’m a believer!
This summer also saw a major promotion that everyone knew was coming except Cassandra, who seemed to be in denial. Cassandra was promoted to Head Office. She will deny that she enjoyed her time as HO, but I know otherwise. As one of her victims (my name is still not back to normal), I know she loved every minute of having extra buttons to push.
Cassandra’s happy Ravenclaw world was interrupted this summer when her nemesis, Prof. Pavel A. Lagrange, joined the house. They often refer to each other as “ewwwface” and can often be found bickering. The insults have only multiplied since Pavel came to Ravenclaw and I’m sure by the end of this term one of them will have their HOL changed to “ewwwface.”
The most shocking moment of Cassandra’s summer came on July 30th. No one could have predicted that Cassandra would become a mother. Her son, Jesus Harry, was born to the surprise of everyone, including Cassandra. Sadly, Jesus Harry has been lost in a past century due to an unknown accident. No one has any idea what happened to him. No one needs to look for him. Do not ask questions about it.
That wraps up our major events from Cassandra’s summer. With the regular quidditch season and several HOL events on the way, I’m sure we will all be amused to her in the next few months. Anyone spotting special Lobiesk moments (we all know they exist) is welcome to point them out! Until next time, these are the days of our Lobiesk...